So Yeah After A Long Day Of Working A Dear Friend Of Mine Named Victoria Tagged Me In A Note That She Posted On Face Book And When I Read It I Was Like Yessssssss!!!!!! So There People That Go Through The Same Thing...... Here Is Her poem Titled
You're in a relationship that makes you happy and full of joy... You feel free to be who ever you choose to be because you have a woman who loves you more than you know, or at least thats what she says... You text her reminding her that you love her and saying little shit to put that smile on her face while you're not with her. Life is good, life is great. You have absolutely NO COMPLAINTS about her, you, and ya'll together. You're quick to say, "Yea.. that's my baby" and every time you hear her name you smile... But it wouldn't last forever would it?
Months pass and this feeling of happiness begins to fade... She's complaining about little things you do, as if you haven't always done them. She's finding stupid petty reasons to call you back, take a rain check or even your favorite "imma hafta ttyl" through a text. Your trust begins to fail as you find shit takes makes you wonder what the hell. You look inside yourself and take the blame, saying it's my fault I can't keep our relationship the same. You bust your ass and try to smile, pretending you don't know what you've known for a while. Because through it all, love prevails... right?
She kisses you sweetly, holds you tight, kisses ur neck and tells you goodnight but all you can think about is... What am I not doing right? You ask yourself over and over again, write it down, make a plan, just to keep her love in your grasp. She's fading away, she's leaving fast, you just don't know how to make it last and when you ask... She blows you off, saying thats ur own internal fault. So you cry, you mourn while she's away, wondering what shit you'll find today. You've become addicted to searching through her things, her email, her messengers, every screen name. You want to stop but you just can't, because you have to know if you still have a chance. Every day brings something new, a DL page... wow who knew. Responding to singles ads, calling ppl baby and commenting on a picture of a bitches ass...
Your eyes swell with tears, how could you be so blind... The signals were there the entire time. The blow horn was blowing and sirens were loud, but you didn't hear them... you just don't know how... but even now... Love prevails, right? She comes home late, doesn't want to talk, she kisses your cheek and says she's going for a walk... You hurt, it burns and every thing in you wants to scream, but you can't be that weak... You can beat this thing. She still comes home! It's all okay! It doesn't matter what she does during the day, you love her!
One day she comes home and you can tell, somethings not right. What the fuck is that smell? Cheap perfume and "Baby, I'm tired as hell." You think, yea I'm sure, me too... inside wishing you had never fell for her smile, her touch, her kiss and there's still so much... She tries to hold you, you scoot away, not sure where her hands have been today. It hurts, it's bad. You cry and she says, "Shut that shit up, I'm tryin to sleep." You laugh because you've hit the edge of sanity.
In the morning she leaves and you stick around just trying to breathe in contaminated air, sleeping in a bed of nails that used to be soft as rose petals... You get up to do your daily things, turn on the radio and for you she sings, "I think I'm just about over being your girlfriend, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. No more wonderin what you been doin, where you been sleepin. I'm leaving, I'm leaving." The tears fill your eyes because this song is going to be your demise but by the time it's over you've pulled out your duffel, a few bags your purse. You plan to be out by the time she gets back from "work". You pack all day grabbing all your shit, singing the song in your head is motivating you not to quit.
You're all packed up, you leave a note, "I'm gone for good, I should have known." On top you leave the key you'll never need. She pulls in while you're grabbing your things. She's asking you, "WHY!?", you're pulling away, thinking of all the times you'd stay, broken and torn, unappreciated and worn. Nothing makes sense except you closing that door and driving far, far away. She keeps screaming, "WHY!?" Almost like she's going to cry, but you know better, she has no feelings. She's turned her back and left you to cry in a corner, fall to your knees, you've watched yourself beg and plead for someone who you didn't ever need. You look at her and the tears begin to fall, she used to be your everything, your love, your all. You tell her softly, as sweet as can be... "I should have listened to my first epiphany"
